Power Parents

Any parent will know that raising a child can be an extremely daunting task. All the self-help books in the world cannot prepare a new parent for their first full blown tantrum in a supermarket when everyone is staring at them and their child is trashing and screaming on the floor because they can’t have the chocolate or the toy. Every typically developing child has their own set of challenges and every parent has their own parenting style. All we have is the example that our parents set for us while we were growing up. This can often lead to people judging someone else’s child or someone’s parenting style.

Being a parent to a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has a magnitude of daily challenges that other parents might not experience or understand. Working in the autism community has taught us that each child is different and unique and their parents have to adapt to these differences. Children with ASD typically don’t show any physical characteristic symptoms that might suggest that they have a developmental delay. They look like any other neurotypical child, they just don’t behave and function in the same way.

Children with ASD have numerous challenges, one of many being an insistence on sameness and a strict adherence to routine. When their routine is broken it can lead to severe behaviour which often include extreme tantrums, aggression, and self-harm. They have verbal and non-verbal communication deficits, sensory dysregulation issues and countless other challenges to overcome every day. Children with ASD need to be prepared for all social occasions ranging from going to a restaurant to going on vacation. They process things differently, their unique behaviours tend to draw a lot of attention and it can make travel or interaction in the community especially challenging. These parents have to fight daily battles to keep their children safe and to make sure they get the help they need to function independently. They have to worry about their child being misunderstood, making friends and being accepted because they might have certain social and emotional deficits. These parents are constantly under extra pressure to assist their child and to integrate them into society. They give more than 100% each day which means that their needs take a back seat. These parents are truly inspiring and continuously give without expecting anything in return. They are Power Parents! So next time when you are walking past a parent struggling with their child due to an extreme tantrum or peculiar behaviour, stop and think before you form an opinion of them. Rather show some support, even if it’s just an understanding or encouraging smile.

They don’t always have the emotional support or empathy that they need. The autism community is a supportive one, and we want these parents to feel valued. At Applied Behaviour Solutions we care, we understand, and we want to give a shout out to all the superheroes called parents. We want to help facilitate an atmosphere of understanding, acceptance and empathy extending to all parents. Everyone has their own struggle and is doing the best they can under their circumstances. We salute all parents during this time for getting up every day and doing their best. So in the spirit of supporting all the parents out there, we at Applied Behaviour Solutions want to give you a few tips and tricks to keep the little ones busy and calm during the lockdown:

• Stay calm because children can feed off of your energy (whether it’s excitement or anxiety).
• Make up your own story (like a bedtime story) about all the current stressful events in a manner that will help them understand what’s going on and to reassure them that everything will be ok.
• Make an activity schedule for them with some of their favourite games or toys that they can follow when you need some alone time or when you need to get some work done.
• Teach them self-help skills for example baking, practicing to dress themselves, brushing teeth, washing hands and other adaptive skills. Make this part of their morning routine.
• Get creative, find some fun arts and crafts activities with household items that they can do, start a small garden with them that they have to tend to or start a shop in the house with Monopoly money.
• Get active, do some Cosmic Kids yoga in the living room or outside.
• Set time limits to activities like watching television or playing games on their devices so that they are aware of the amount of time they have left and to monitor the amount of time they spend with electronics.

If you would like further information regarding ASD and what it entails, feel free to visit our website, Instagram or Facebook page for more articles and resources or send us an email and we will get back to you.

“Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of you’re not alone.”

Brene Brown