Childhood Attachment

A child’s social development is dependent on the development of their first interactions and relationships with others. The first form of social development for an infant is their attachment to their parents or primary care givers. Attachment refers to the emotional bonding that occurs between individuals. This attachment in their first few years of life sets the tone for their future relationships and social interaction.

There is an interesting study done by Harry Harlow in 1958. He did an experiment with rhesus monkeys to refute the notion that infants develop attachment to the person who provides oral satisfaction (i.e. food). He used two ‘surrogate mothers’, both made out of wire but one of them was covered in a soft cloth. Each monkey was equipped with a feeding bottle and a light bulb for heat. He found that, regardless of which ‘mother’ was providing food, all the monkeys showed a definite preference for the cloth mother. Even when the wire mother provided them with food, they collected the food from her and went back to the cloth mother. They also clung to the cloth mother when they were frightened. This proved that the provision of warmth, comfort and softness is vital in initial attachment. Granted this is an old study with monkeys, but attachment between infants and their primary caregiver is one of the most researched aspects of emotional and social development.

According to a psychiatrist named John Bowlby, attachment develops in the following phases:

• Pre-attachment phase which lasts approximately the first two to three months. During this phase their behaviour is mainly reflex responses and they do not discriminate between familiar and unfamiliar people, they may be comforted by anyone and they smile to everyone.
• The ‘attachment-in-the-making’ phase where they focus more on familiar people. This phase occurs around the third to the sixth month. During this phase the attachment between the infant and the primary caregiver is particularly noticeable, they smile and ‘talk’ more to their caregivers more often than to strangers and they may become upset when they are separated from their caregivers.
• Clear-cut attachment (active proximity seeking) which lasts from about six months to two years. During this phase, attachment is clearly noticeable between the infant and the primary caregiver. They also start forming attachments to familiar people like grandparents, siblings or other family members and friends.
• The formation of reciprocal relationships. This starts at the age of two and the attachment between caregiver and infants becomes much more complex due to cognitive, social and emotional behaviour. An important characteristic during this phase is the attempts made by the infants to influence the behaviour of their caregivers to make them more responsive to their own needs.

During these phases, a child develops a certain attachment style. Mary Ainsworth along with other researchers identified four attachment categories; secure, avoidant, resistant, and disorganised attachment.

Babies with secure attachment are usually visibly distressed when they are separated from their mothers/primary caregivers and very happy when they return. They welcome physical contact with their primary caregiver and react relatively positive to strangers when their caregivers are present.

A baby with avoidant attachment are usually not upset when their mother leaves and they tend to avoid the mother when she returns. They do not explore the environment when their mother is present and they tend to ignore or avoid strangers.

Resistant attachment is usually characterised by babies showing anxiety even before the mother leaves, becoming extremely upset when she leaves and they tend to behave ambivalently when she returns; they try to make contact but they also try to avoid her. They are usually wary of strangers and they are unlikely to explore their environment.

Disorganised attachment reflects the greatest insecurity and most likely appears in infants whose mothers are insensitive, intrusive or abusive. Generally they greet their mother brightly when she returns but then moves away and show a variety of confused and contradictory behaviours.

It is important to note that these categories do not reflect one ‘healthy’ category but rather different adjustment categories applicable in a specific environment and/or context and there has not been sufficient cross-cultural research on these attachment categories.

Now the question is; what influences an infant’s attachment? The main factors influencing attachment during infancy is the mother’s personality and relationship with her baby, the temperament of the infant, a variety of psychosocial factors (i.e. unhappy marriage, poverty, trauma/loss, or a lack of social support) and mental concerns such as post-partum depression are related to problems in infant-mother relationships. There are many studies that show a mother or the primary caretaker’s sensitivity in responding appropriately to the child’s needs is a main determinant of the child’s attachment pattern. Having a secure attachment style will benefit children in the long run, they will have more trusting and healthy relationships in adolescence and adulthood.

The secret to fostering a healthy attachment style in your child is balance. You need to have a balance between being strict, setting boundaries, rules and expectations and giving them the freedom to explore and learn. You need to be a safe haven for them so that they can go out and explore the world knowing that they reliably have a safe and stable place to come back to. It is important to have a good relationship with your child and this can be difficult with life’s seemingly never ending pressures, but it’s important to have a support system in place to help with the challenges that come with raising a child. Have fun with your child, validate their feelings, get involved in their interests and give them the space they need to make mistakes and learn. They learn more by trying and failing than not trying at all, but it’s important that they know they can always come back into your unconditionally loving and forgiving arms when they need to.

We do not specialise in early childhood attachment. This article is meant as an educational piece for parents who would like to learn more about their little ones.

Please feel free to read our article about building rapport with children, this is a good resource if you need more information on how to build a relationship and play with your child and the benefits thereof.

Sources:

Louw, D., & Louw, A. (2014). Child and adolescent development. (2^nd ed.). Bloemfontein: Psychology Publications

https://aspe.hhs.gov/basic-report/infant-attachment-what-we-know-now https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2169321/